A day spent at the beach!

Another chance.

It's just me

Mixed Feelings

Nothing's perfect. Nobody's perfect.

A day to look forward to ♥

Too lazy.

Selamat Hari Raya! :D

awesome time of my life :)

too much burden...

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I miss him =/

So, as you guys know, I'm not with him anymore. Yes, the boyfriend is now an ex-boyfriend. We broke up, I think it's almost 2 weeks? Things has been complicated, between us. Despite my anger and sadness, I shall try my best not to blog childishly and blog professionally. And what I meant was, not to rant my anger that much. So you readers won't get bored reading it. (:

So, this is the story... This is how I feel...

We lasted for almost 18 months, almost. This Sunday was supposed to be our 18 Monthsary, but I guess it won't happen now... We've been through a hell lot together, ups and downs. Never give up on our love, on each other. But this time, I guess we're both wrong. We didn't see this coming... 

In a relationship, having ups and  downs is good. Once in a while, having arguments is good. It's what makes your relationship stronger. It's like showing you and proving to you how much you love each other. The reason why you guys are together.It's like god is testing you how strong and patient you are. If you get through it, then you passed. 

I love my boyfriend, so much. He meant the world to me. He is who I prioritize first, before anyone. Including myself. I put him before myself. I really do care about him, eventhough he might not see it. Every single time I asked him to not do something, he thought I'm controlling him. Ordering him around. It hurts though, when he said it that way.  I was just looking out for him, wanting the best for him. But, he sees it as a threat. Something bad. And it hurts me, as his girlfriend, whenever he says like that. But, I didn't lose hope, I did not gave up on us. Repeated mistakes, but always forgiven. Too much chances I've given to him, I must say. But sadly, he did not appreciates that. 

You never realized how much I love you and care about you. All this while, you thought I didn't. I know I did so many wrong things in the past, like maybe making new friends? That drifted us apart? Yes, I think you should know what I mean. But if you were to ask me to choose between you and them, I obviously chose you. And before you say anything, I did prove it to you though. But when it comes to your turn, I'm so sad that you didn't actually choose me. Or, put me first. Atleast, spare my feelings will you? When it's my time, I gladly chose you instead of them without having second thoughts. Because I thought, I knew, that you were the one for me. I will forever choose you, because no one can ever be you. No one can replace you in my heart. No matter how much I pushed you away, I'll end up pulling you back in. But now that the tables have turned, and it was your time to choose, I know you chose me. But, you didn't prove it to me like how I proved it to you.

You said you love me, you rather choose me than her. You said you're not gonna contact her, you promised! But then you broke it, in less than 24 hours! I told you, not to say goodbye. But you did, tell me why issit so hard to let her go?!! If I could let go my friends so easily because of you, why can't you do the same? I admit, this problem has affected me deeply. Are you really in love with me? Or are you just saying it for the sake of saying it?

I just want you all to myself. I just wanted things to be back the way it used to be, issit too much to ask for? I want us, the old us. When everyone expects us to last long til we get married to each other and have lots of kids... I want that us again, when we were so in love with each other. When nothing can get between us. But I guess, it's too late now. I've given you so many chances, you can't even prove it to me. I guess now when you've realized it, it would be too late. I would have moved on...

OLDER POST

I miss him =/

So, as you guys know, I'm not with him anymore. Yes, the boyfriend is now an ex-boyfriend. We broke up, I think it's almost 2 weeks? Things has been complicated, between us. Despite my anger and sadness, I shall try my best not to blog childishly and blog professionally. And what I meant was, not to rant my anger that much. So you readers won't get bored reading it. (:

So, this is the story... This is how I feel...

We lasted for almost 18 months, almost. This Sunday was supposed to be our 18 Monthsary, but I guess it won't happen now... We've been through a hell lot together, ups and downs. Never give up on our love, on each other. But this time, I guess we're both wrong. We didn't see this coming... 

In a relationship, having ups and  downs is good. Once in a while, having arguments is good. It's what makes your relationship stronger. It's like showing you and proving to you how much you love each other. The reason why you guys are together.It's like god is testing you how strong and patient you are. If you get through it, then you passed. 

I love my boyfriend, so much. He meant the world to me. He is who I prioritize first, before anyone. Including myself. I put him before myself. I really do care about him, eventhough he might not see it. Every single time I asked him to not do something, he thought I'm controlling him. Ordering him around. It hurts though, when he said it that way.  I was just looking out for him, wanting the best for him. But, he sees it as a threat. Something bad. And it hurts me, as his girlfriend, whenever he says like that. But, I didn't lose hope, I did not gave up on us. Repeated mistakes, but always forgiven. Too much chances I've given to him, I must say. But sadly, he did not appreciates that. 

You never realized how much I love you and care about you. All this while, you thought I didn't. I know I did so many wrong things in the past, like maybe making new friends? That drifted us apart? Yes, I think you should know what I mean. But if you were to ask me to choose between you and them, I obviously chose you. And before you say anything, I did prove it to you though. But when it comes to your turn, I'm so sad that you didn't actually choose me. Or, put me first. Atleast, spare my feelings will you? When it's my time, I gladly chose you instead of them without having second thoughts. Because I thought, I knew, that you were the one for me. I will forever choose you, because no one can ever be you. No one can replace you in my heart. No matter how much I pushed you away, I'll end up pulling you back in. But now that the tables have turned, and it was your time to choose, I know you chose me. But, you didn't prove it to me like how I proved it to you.

You said you love me, you rather choose me than her. You said you're not gonna contact her, you promised! But then you broke it, in less than 24 hours! I told you, not to say goodbye. But you did, tell me why issit so hard to let her go?!! If I could let go my friends so easily because of you, why can't you do the same? I admit, this problem has affected me deeply. Are you really in love with me? Or are you just saying it for the sake of saying it?

I just want you all to myself. I just wanted things to be back the way it used to be, issit too much to ask for? I want us, the old us. When everyone expects us to last long til we get married to each other and have lots of kids... I want that us again, when we were so in love with each other. When nothing can get between us. But I guess, it's too late now. I've given you so many chances, you can't even prove it to me. I guess now when you've realized it, it would be too late. I would have moved on...

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